Writing and Snacks - It wasn't a chicken, it was a baby!

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It wasn't a chicken, it was a baby!

Apr. 30th, 2008 at 9:54 AM

I do not have a complete draft of my YA novel, but I have typed the first word of the first scene (the) and the last word of the last scene (laughed), and all the words in between. The reason why this doesn't constitute a first draft for me is because if I sent it out in the world in this shape, even to trusted first readers, it would die. The lungs are hanging on by mere threads. The heart is sewn onto the elbow.

So, what's required now is what they used to call meatball surgery on M*A*S*H. It's not polish and perfection. It's more stuff like, if the heroes employ a mummy in the climax to save the day, I have to actually go back and write in a mummy for them to employ.

This is a dangerous time for me. The language is clunky, the characters inconsistent, some of the plot business completely nonsensical, and not being able to fix all these things before people read the draft can push me pretty far out on the ledge of shame and despair. But I don't have time to fix all these things. I only have time to shove the heart into the chest cavity and hit it with my fist and scream, "Live, damn you, live!" Alan Alda-style.

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sarah_prineas wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)

15 units of coffee IV, stat!

My own patient is circling the drain. It needs a transfusion of lifeblood, but it's spring and I'm going for a walk with Theo, instead. It can suck me dry later.

Good luck!!

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)

Seems like walks with your kids is often just the medicine your patients need.

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tcastleb wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)

I saw a mention of squid here and a video of a squid being dissected here Ya know, just in case you've had a bit too much of your own meatball surgery.

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)

Yeah, it's so cool and disgusting!

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jeffsoesbe wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)

But Hawkeye Pierce always saved the patient, and you can too!

Unless, of course, there's one of those documentary crews around. In that case, it's redshirt city.

The mummy thing is the Karloff variant of Chekhov's Rule: "If there's a mummy on stage in the first act, it must be unleashed to wreak havoc by the third act."

- yeff

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)

Ah, but there must be a corollary or something: If someone fires the gun in the third act, you must make sure to place it on the mantle in the first act. Ditto, mummies.

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voidmonster wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)

I think the proper corollary is: if there's a prominent mantle in the first act, the book was written by a dead guy.

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voidmonster wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)

(Unless said mantle is a squid mantle.)

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jeffsoesbe wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I think "guns being fired" and "mantles" is one of those "if and only if" things even if it wasn't specified as such.

Despite Chekhov being Russian, I'm not sure he had too many logic courses in school...

- yeff

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drumiller wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)

Man, I'm so there with you.

I'm nearing the final 10-15k of the novel, but it is in the skeletal with muscles and tendons framework, but not all the cardiovascular stuff worked in.

For me it's more of: "We haven't interacted with purportedly important character that we introduced in Scene 7 for a while, I'll have to go back and make sure to weave back in" and "I need less whitewalling here, but how to add more shine?"

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)

Ah, yes, forgetting about entire characters. Maybe in your building metaphor that's forgetting the bathroom.

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punkmacgirl wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)

Wow... it makes so much sense now...

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mount_oregano wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)

It's the "zero draft," as I call it. And quite an accomplishment. Congratulations for making it through.

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I'm calling this one Draft 1a, but basically the same idea.

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voidmonster wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)

Dude, you kick ass and you are totally going to make your book stop screwing around and put on all its skin and organs.

It wouldn't be your book if said skin and organs were all in the expected places.

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)

There's a little Clive Barker in many of us, true enough.

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jennreese wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)

Hey, congratulations!!!

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)

Thanks! I suspect there'll be several similar announcements this week from workshoppers.

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tim_pratt wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)

Congrats anyway!

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)

Thanks! And did you notice I knew the first and last words of my book? And neither one a speech tag!

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prusik wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)

I think this is an accomplishment. Just getting it down on paper feels like half the battle some times.

I hope it all gets better from here.

Congrats.

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I've just finished reading the first 150 pages, and it's not as maimed and monstrous as I'd feared.

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_stranger_here wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)

Congratulations! With generous applications of humor, rage, and stylish misbehavior, you'll fix your patient up and send it out to battle.

(omg your post header had my eyes widening and a lump in my throat before I even consciously placed the reference, that series finale was so imprinted on me at a mitochondrial level)

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 11:58 pm (UTC)

Call Sidney Freedman!

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jamiam wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)

Congrats! Wow, that seemed to take you a lot less time than the first novel?

Also I have such a crush on Alan Alda.

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)

Yeah, this one didn't take much time. I've had a couple of false-start first chapters lying around for a long time, and I started on it in late September, but then I got derailed by having to rewrite the Norse book. So, I've really been working on this one since January. Hopefully the next drafts won't drag out through the rest of the year.

Alan Alda is a real charmer, seriously.

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bogwitch64 wrote:

Apr. 30th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)

Hey!! That's so fabulistic!!! It seems like that didn't take you any time at all? But that could just be because I have no sense of time or reality.

Oh, and when you shove the heart into the chest cavity, make sure you connect it to the veins and arteries before sewing it back up again, or dammit, the thing just won't work no matter how much juice you give it!!
/wink?

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gregvaneekhout wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 12:01 am (UTC)

Thanks! Yeah, most of this draft was written in about four months. Not quite the endless slog of the Norse novel, thank Odin.

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bogwitch64 wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)

So do you think it came easier because you've more experience? Or did this story just fly?

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(Anonymous) wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)

Hey, when did Klinger stop wearing a dress?

Alls I want to say is that I appreciate the allusion to the final episode of M*A*S*H in the title of this post. It WAS a baby, not a chicken! The horror!

That's what I'm on about.

You're an errand boy...sent by grocery clerks...to collect a bill.

Oh, yeah, cool about the novel and stuff too.

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jonhansen wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 01:02 am (UTC)

You can do it, man. You're the best meatball surgeon in this whole damn theater!

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birdhousefrog wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)

Wow. I think you've been watching too many MASH re-runs. Definitely took that analogy too far. But I think it's very cool that you've finished a draft, no matter how ungainly it walks.

Oz

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kellysarah wrote:

May. 1st, 2008 02:39 pm (UTC)

Congratulations! I'm still climbing towards that ledge of shame and despair.

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