A swimmer got killed by a shark this morning at Solana Beach, my very favorite San Diego-area beach and the site of my Mystery Dream House. Apparently a lot of seals and sea lions have been beaching themselves in the area, which they do when there's a big predator out there.

More people die from coconuts falling on their heads than get killed by sharks, so it's not like I'm worried about getting eaten by a shark. Still kinda freaky, though.

Woo! The fantasy podcast site PodCastle is buying "The Osteomancer's Son," my story about bone magic in Los Angeles. It'll probably run sometime next month.

And today I got my contributor's copies of Spin, a Finnish science fiction/fantasy magazine, containing "Kirjailijatalo," a translation of my story "Authorwerx."

The podcast of "Authorwerx" was in Escape Pod last year.

Now I need to get "The Osteomancer's Son" translated into Finnish ...

***

We in the USA are now assaulting teens with ultrasonic noise weapons. Because if there's one thing teenagers can't do, it's retaliate by making noise of their own. And it's always a good idea to antagonize those who will be responsible for our care in a few decades, isn't it? Our nursing homes will be pits dug in the ground. At least we'll be able to gum our earthworms.

I'm an old man with the knees of Geezer McCreakster, but I have the hearing of a young adult. I'm immune to these assaults, but not by much. I did have the Lakers game on when I took the test, though, so for all I know these emitters will melt my geriatric brains.

You are about 20 years old

The teen repellent will no longer foil you, but you can still hear some pretty high tones. The highest pitched ultrasonic mosquito ringtone that I can hear is 16.7kHz

Find out which ultrasonic ringtones you can hear!

Crappy phonecam footage of Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson joining the Foo Fighters on-stage last month to play YYZ. The footage is really crappy, and you have to sit through a tedious Taylor Hawkins drum solo before Geddy and Alex come on (Neil Peart is the only drummer who should be allowed solos), and Grohl must've been eating cold cuts backstage because he's nowhere to be seen, and there's an obnoxious guy screaming, "Holy shit! Holy fuck! OH MY GOD!" the whole time.

If I'd been there, I would have so totally been that guy.

(Geddy and Alex come on at the two-minute mark.)

The dude in this Subaru commercial creeps me out because I keep expecting him to tear his face off and reveal the chrome death skull underneath, but it just cracks me up so much when he talks about the rabbits that I have to pee.

U.S. Geological Survey captures video of bears pole-dancing in the wild.

LiveScience explains.

sarah_prineas, author of the soon-to-be-blockbuster-not-to-mention-utterly-HAWESOME Magic Thief, has been blogging about publicity this week from the perspective of a new author being given significant push by her publisher. Her posts have been chockfull of good general information, and today's post on prepublication is no exception.

***

Today's San Diego Tribune runs a feature on "writing coach" Midge Raymond, who holds workshops that include an opportunity for writers to shred their rejection letters.

They sat on couches and chairs in an airy East Village loft, sipping Starbucks. It could have been a writers' meeting anywhere, or maybe a book club, except for the unusual guest in the middle of the room.

A paper shredder.

The machine was there Monday night as a weapon, a way for the writers to fight back against one of the literary world's fiercest demons: rejection.

“We all learn about dialogue, about characterization, but nobody talks about rejection, about how to deal with it,” said Midge Raymond, a local author and writing coach who hosted the session.

Craziness. I have a big file drawer stuffed with rejection letters. I wouldn't think of shredding them. They are among my most valued possessions.

***

mythusmage kindly pointed me to this very thorough review of Paper Cities: an Anthology of Urban Fantasy in Fantasy Book Critic, which not only says nice things about my story, but also gives my book some pre-pre-pre-publicity:

At only four pages “Ghost Market” gives new meaning to the term ‘short story’, but it’s an intriguing concept where inhaling ghosts is a form of drug dealing, and I think it would make a pretty interesting series. We’ll have to wait on that though because Greg’s first novel “Norse Code” (Bantam Dell) is “a mythic fantasy set in contemporary Los Angeles in which a minor Norse god, a modern valkyrie, and a Viking thug are pitted against the Norse pantheon in an attempt to stop Ragnarok, the long-ago foreseen destruction of the entire universe.”

jamiam pointed me to this t-shirt.

It's arrival will be one of the happiest days of my life.

And since I'm on the topic (yes, again), the squid below is not a model. It's an actual giant squid that's been plastinated, like those dead people in those exhibits of dead people that are the latest craze sweeping the nation. The plastination process caused it to shrink about seven feet, leaving it only around 2/3 of its size while alive.



(Via from National Geographic. More here.)

"Ticket to Ride" by the Carpenters has to be one of the weirder covers. Still, I'd give a lot to be able to sing like Karen Carpenter.

Um.

Here's some Mad Max footage set to Motörhead. Because I am metal, totally.

***

Today I had a lobster burrito and a Negra Modelo with an ocean view, plus other pleasures. I lived like I was livin' in paradise.

***

The JLA Satellite blog finally got around to reviewing Justice League of America #124, the very first comic book I remember buying. It was on sale at the little grocery store at Lopez Lake, a regular destination for our family vacations, and maybe it was the spooky cover, but I was drawn to it like Batman to a mugger, and though I've drifted away and come back to comics many times in the intervening years, I've loved them ever since.

People in the comments to the blog post are dissing the co-writer of that issue, Elliot S! Maggin, but he wrote Last Son of Krypton, which remains one of my all-time favorite novels, and I will always love him for it.

I should get a new copy. Mine would fall apart if I touched it.

***

She really was an alto angel, though, Karen Carpenter.

No, seriously. Vampyroteuthis infernalis:



(courtesy TONMO.com: The Octopus News Magazine).

A grad student studying birds caught a picture of a wolverine in Tahoe National Forest with a remotely operated camera. It's the first confirmed sighting of a wolverine in California since the 1920's, and it occurred 900 miles from the nearest known wolverine population. The experts don't know where it came from, but, hey, neat! You can read the full story here (via Paul Dini's LJ).



***

Cartoons, cartoons, cartoons. I haven't even been reading fiction, just watching cartoons. I highly recommend Hellboy: Blood and Iron. Really good writing, and though it doesn't quite capture Mike Mignola's distinct inkline, the character design gets it right.

Also watched the first episode of X-Men: Evolution, which was meh, but maybe I'll give it a few more episodes. And in about fifteen minutes I'll be watching the series finale of The Batman.

Afterwards, I should, like, get some work done.

I'll leave you with a Bruce Timm drawing of Storm. A Bruce Timm X-Men could be really cool.

The fine agents of the Donald Maas Literary Agency reveal what books they'd like to see. From Donald Maas himself:

A science fiction novel that is really a dynastic epic set on another world, with grand characters, secret cabals, betrayal, outcasts, economic conflict, drugs and arms, previously unknown creatures and enormous destinies played out on a huge scale. The next Dune.

A fantasy set in the world of tunnels and homeless colonies beneath Grand Central Station.

A pyrotechnic fantasy set in a world like 16th Century London (with magic) about rival fireworks makers, culminating in the Great Fire.

I could see really cool books arising from any of the above ideas, or any of the other ones listed on the page. I'm not writing anything resembling them, but I'm hoping my agent will like the book I'm currently writing, because I'm entering the dreaded middle-of-the-book with all the usual despair and gnashing of teeth. A book sale would help me replace my enamel.

***

The 1,000 True Fans concept has been popping up on various blogs over the last few days. Very briefly, a "True Fan" is someone who will buy everything an artist produces and is willing to spend one day's income per year on that artist's work. An artist with 1,000 True Fans can make a living.

I don't think it works for a writer like me, pursuing the traditional publishing model, in which I make a small amount of money for every book I sell (once my book has earned back the advance), and in which I depend on a publisher to get my book in the hands of readers. For someone like Wil Wheaton, who assumes all the risks and reaps all the rewards of self-publishing, though, it sounds like a reasonable model. Wheaton reckons that right now he has between 300-500 True Fans. That's after years of building an audience through his hugely popular blog, and after having attracted an audience to his blog partially by starting off with a recognizable name and a built-in curiosity factor. That's not to detract from Wheaton's determination and hard work, nor his talent for engaging his readers. But even with his considerable audience, he's still got a lot of work to do before he achieves that 1,000 True Fan target. (Also, like Wheaton, I dislike the term "True Fan.")

In my case, not even my own mom is a True Fan. Still, it's fodder for thought. I wonder how a writer following a traditional publishing model can benefit from the 1,000 True Fan concept.

***

The Journey is a short, nicely done animation explaining that turning off the tap while brushing your teeth not only saves water, but also reduces greenhouse gas emissions (via Drawn! The Illustration and Cartooning Blog).

I could be mistaken, but I think The Mighty Hercules ran in syndication on KHJ Los Angeles, Channel 9. And if you grew up in LA, I know what you're thinking: Channel 9? Nothing good ever came on Channel 9. Channel 9 was, like, Bowling for Dollars.

But that's neither here nor there.

The Mighty Hercules theme song is awfully catchy. In fact, the melody runs through my head with alarming frequency, because the tune is just awesome. But of the lyrics, all I've ever been able to remember is the part about Herc having the strength of ten ordinary men.

Turns out they're quite evocative. To wit:

Softness in his eyes
Iron in his thighs
Virtue in his heart
Fire in every part
of the mighty Hercules!

The bad news: President Bush Eliminates Funding for Reading Is Fundamental’s Historic Book Distribution Program Serving 4.6 Million Children (via silk_noir).

The good news: RIF makes it really easy to email your senators or congresspeople who haven't yet pledged to reinstate RIF's funding. In my case, that meant one of my senators (Diane Feinstein) and my district's representative (Susan A. Davis). Let's hope they see the light and decide poor kids deserve the dignity and empowerment that comes from having books of their very own.

Take books away from kids, we all lose. Give them books, we all win. Duh.

Video showing a fan-built model of Neil Peart and his drum kit (circa "Grace Under Pressure"), made from whiskey bottle caps, tin can lids, and shishkabob skewers. I doff my tuque to the guy's craft and dedication.



***

Commemorating another step in the process: Signing publishing contracts for Norse Code.

I am watching Justice League: The New Frontier, and it is so awesome and I am so excited that I am about to explode.

So far I've watched the title sequence.

If you aren't watching Justice League: The New Frontier at this moment, then maybe you should at least drop my by current favorite blog, Rob Kelly's JLA Satellite. Or, almost as delightful, the Aquaman Shrine, from which I nabbed the choice treat below.

I'm an apartment dweller and don't have the freedom to paint my walls, much less install a wind turbine to power my television or solar panels to heat my water. I can't install a system that will enable me to drink my purified pee. But I do want to do the little things that will help me be less of a polluting, consuming, outgassing blight upon the face of the Earth, and the Green Apartment blog seems like it might have some useful tips for people in my situation. If you know of any other good resources like this, or better ones, please let me know? Thanks.

***

"The 27 bones of the hand rattle around inside a glove of skin and fluids."

YouTube clip of a guy karate chopping a brick in slow motion.

(Via the head instructor from my old Kung Fu school, which I'm missing more than ever, partially because we did no breaking.)

***

Clip of a dude attempting a handstand on a running treadmill (via affinity8).

***

Giving myself a May 1 deadline for the current book. If I don't make it, I'm a lamer.

San Diego has a healthy microbrew scene, but as a beer drinking Rush fan, I'm very jealous of you Minnesotans.

Flat Earth Cygnus X-1

"This robust English style porter has an add (sic) twist, rye. Rye is used in making Canadian whiskey. It was created as a tribute to our favorite band - Rush. Cygnus X-1 has a creamy mocha chocolate flavor with a hint of spice. It has a slightly dry finish leaving you wanting more. English hops balance out this 6.5% ABV beer."

This, I think, is a rather apt visual metaphor for writers trying to get published (taken out of context from Cute Overload).

Scott Kerkmans is Chief Beer Officer for the Four Points by Sheraton hotel chain. His job is to drink beer and choose craftbrew selections for the chain's bars and restaurants.

The basement of his house is crammed full of fine beer. He mostly works at home.

"Something just seems a little bit wrong about drinking beer at 8 in the morning, every morning, for me, so I often will wait until about 10 on the mornings that I'm tasting. Not to say that there's anything wrong with having a beer for breakfast. I do that sometimes, too," Kerkmans says.

(Read story at NPR.)

***

I've been harassing some of my writer friends for tips on synopsis writing. I should have known that jaylake (Jay Lake) would have covered the topic thoroughly in his journal: Synopsis writing, according to Jay.

And I've been getting wonderfully generous tips and advice and examples from my other victims colleagues as well. I love my colleagues. Maybe I've got the best job in America. (Except for the lack of living wage part, of course.)

Finally, somebody, somewhere, understands my needs: Possibly the world's biggest coffee cup.

My synopsis still needs some work.

I need to go downstairs to the laundry and see if my pants are dry.

What do you need?