I do not have a complete draft of my YA novel, but I have typed the first word of the first scene (the) and the last word of the last scene (laughed), and all the words in between. The reason why this doesn't constitute a first draft for me is because if I sent it out in the world in this shape, even to trusted first readers, it would die. The lungs are hanging on by mere threads. The heart is sewn onto the elbow.

So, what's required now is what they used to call meatball surgery on M*A*S*H. It's not polish and perfection. It's more stuff like, if the heroes employ a mummy in the climax to save the day, I have to actually go back and write in a mummy for them to employ.

This is a dangerous time for me. The language is clunky, the characters inconsistent, some of the plot business completely nonsensical, and not being able to fix all these things before people read the draft can push me pretty far out on the ledge of shame and despair. But I don't have time to fix all these things. I only have time to shove the heart into the chest cavity and hit it with my fist and scream, "Live, damn you, live!" Alan Alda-style.

Woo! The fantasy podcast site PodCastle is buying "The Osteomancer's Son," my story about bone magic in Los Angeles. It'll probably run sometime next month.

And today I got my contributor's copies of Spin, a Finnish science fiction/fantasy magazine, containing "Kirjailijatalo," a translation of my story "Authorwerx."

The podcast of "Authorwerx" was in Escape Pod last year.

Now I need to get "The Osteomancer's Son" translated into Finnish ...

***

We in the USA are now assaulting teens with ultrasonic noise weapons. Because if there's one thing teenagers can't do, it's retaliate by making noise of their own. And it's always a good idea to antagonize those who will be responsible for our care in a few decades, isn't it? Our nursing homes will be pits dug in the ground. At least we'll be able to gum our earthworms.

I'm an old man with the knees of Geezer McCreakster, but I have the hearing of a young adult. I'm immune to these assaults, but not by much. I did have the Lakers game on when I took the test, though, so for all I know these emitters will melt my geriatric brains.

You are about 20 years old

The teen repellent will no longer foil you, but you can still hear some pretty high tones. The highest pitched ultrasonic mosquito ringtone that I can hear is 16.7kHz

Find out which ultrasonic ringtones you can hear!

About two weeks ago I met up with writer and podcaster Shaun Farrell, to record an interview for his podcast, Adventures in Scifi Publishing. We drank coffee and hung out and chatted about writing and personal finance and traded a little gossip, and it was a lot of fun. At one point Shaun hit the record button and shoved a mic in my face and I blathered for about ten minutes and then we went back to using profanity.

My interview's appears in a new segment, Out of the Slush, which features writers who've just signed their first book deals, and I come on at about the 37-minute mark, after the main interview with Cory Doctorow.

Listen here.

sarah_prineas, author of the soon-to-be-blockbuster-not-to-mention-utterly-HAWESOME Magic Thief, has been blogging about publicity this week from the perspective of a new author being given significant push by her publisher. Her posts have been chockfull of good general information, and today's post on prepublication is no exception.

***

Today's San Diego Tribune runs a feature on "writing coach" Midge Raymond, who holds workshops that include an opportunity for writers to shred their rejection letters.

They sat on couches and chairs in an airy East Village loft, sipping Starbucks. It could have been a writers' meeting anywhere, or maybe a book club, except for the unusual guest in the middle of the room.

A paper shredder.

The machine was there Monday night as a weapon, a way for the writers to fight back against one of the literary world's fiercest demons: rejection.

“We all learn about dialogue, about characterization, but nobody talks about rejection, about how to deal with it,” said Midge Raymond, a local author and writing coach who hosted the session.

Craziness. I have a big file drawer stuffed with rejection letters. I wouldn't think of shredding them. They are among my most valued possessions.

***

mythusmage kindly pointed me to this very thorough review of Paper Cities: an Anthology of Urban Fantasy in Fantasy Book Critic, which not only says nice things about my story, but also gives my book some pre-pre-pre-publicity:

At only four pages “Ghost Market” gives new meaning to the term ‘short story’, but it’s an intriguing concept where inhaling ghosts is a form of drug dealing, and I think it would make a pretty interesting series. We’ll have to wait on that though because Greg’s first novel “Norse Code” (Bantam Dell) is “a mythic fantasy set in contemporary Los Angeles in which a minor Norse god, a modern valkyrie, and a Viking thug are pitted against the Norse pantheon in an attempt to stop Ragnarok, the long-ago foreseen destruction of the entire universe.”

I imagine this will be thoroughly bloggered about by the cluster of blaggers with whom I cluster, but I did want to mention that Paper Cities, an anthology of urban fantasy stories with little or no relation to the current hot, hot publishing sub-genre of urban fantasy, is out today.

It can be purchased here.

I think listing the table of contents is probably the best salesmanship I could do, because my own contribution notwithstanding, it is a very fine table.

Jess Nevins - Foreword
Forrest Aguirre - "Andretto Walks the King’s Way"
Hal Duncan - "The Tower of Morning’s Bones"
Richard Parks - "Courting the Lady Scythe"
Cat Rambo - "The Bumblety’s Marble"
Jay Lake - "Promises; A Tale of the City Imperishable"
Greg van Eekhout - "Ghost Market"
Cat Sparks - "Sammarynda Deep"
Steve Berman - "Tearjerker"
Stephanie Campisi - "The Title of This Story"
Mark Teppo - "The One That Got Away"
Paul Meloy - "Alex and the Toyceivers"
Vylar Kaftan - "Godivy"
Michael Jasper - "Painting Haiti"
Ben Peek - "The Funeral, Ruined"
Kaaron Warren - "Down to the Silver Spirits"
Darin C. Bradley - "They Would Only be Roads"
Jenn Reese - "Taser"
David Schwartz - "Somnambulist"
Anna Tambour - "The Age of Fish, Post-flowers"
Barth Anderson - "The Last Escape"
Catherynne M. Valente - "Palimpsest"

The fine agents of the Donald Maas Literary Agency reveal what books they'd like to see. From Donald Maas himself:

A science fiction novel that is really a dynastic epic set on another world, with grand characters, secret cabals, betrayal, outcasts, economic conflict, drugs and arms, previously unknown creatures and enormous destinies played out on a huge scale. The next Dune.

A fantasy set in the world of tunnels and homeless colonies beneath Grand Central Station.

A pyrotechnic fantasy set in a world like 16th Century London (with magic) about rival fireworks makers, culminating in the Great Fire.

I could see really cool books arising from any of the above ideas, or any of the other ones listed on the page. I'm not writing anything resembling them, but I'm hoping my agent will like the book I'm currently writing, because I'm entering the dreaded middle-of-the-book with all the usual despair and gnashing of teeth. A book sale would help me replace my enamel.

***

The 1,000 True Fans concept has been popping up on various blogs over the last few days. Very briefly, a "True Fan" is someone who will buy everything an artist produces and is willing to spend one day's income per year on that artist's work. An artist with 1,000 True Fans can make a living.

I don't think it works for a writer like me, pursuing the traditional publishing model, in which I make a small amount of money for every book I sell (once my book has earned back the advance), and in which I depend on a publisher to get my book in the hands of readers. For someone like Wil Wheaton, who assumes all the risks and reaps all the rewards of self-publishing, though, it sounds like a reasonable model. Wheaton reckons that right now he has between 300-500 True Fans. That's after years of building an audience through his hugely popular blog, and after having attracted an audience to his blog partially by starting off with a recognizable name and a built-in curiosity factor. That's not to detract from Wheaton's determination and hard work, nor his talent for engaging his readers. But even with his considerable audience, he's still got a lot of work to do before he achieves that 1,000 True Fan target. (Also, like Wheaton, I dislike the term "True Fan.")

In my case, not even my own mom is a True Fan. Still, it's fodder for thought. I wonder how a writer following a traditional publishing model can benefit from the 1,000 True Fan concept.

***

The Journey is a short, nicely done animation explaining that turning off the tap while brushing your teeth not only saves water, but also reduces greenhouse gas emissions (via Drawn! The Illustration and Cartooning Blog).

Video showing a fan-built model of Neil Peart and his drum kit (circa "Grace Under Pressure"), made from whiskey bottle caps, tin can lids, and shishkabob skewers. I doff my tuque to the guy's craft and dedication.



***

Commemorating another step in the process: Signing publishing contracts for Norse Code.

This, I think, is a rather apt visual metaphor for writers trying to get published (taken out of context from Cute Overload).

Scott Kerkmans is Chief Beer Officer for the Four Points by Sheraton hotel chain. His job is to drink beer and choose craftbrew selections for the chain's bars and restaurants.

The basement of his house is crammed full of fine beer. He mostly works at home.

"Something just seems a little bit wrong about drinking beer at 8 in the morning, every morning, for me, so I often will wait until about 10 on the mornings that I'm tasting. Not to say that there's anything wrong with having a beer for breakfast. I do that sometimes, too," Kerkmans says.

(Read story at NPR.)

***

I've been harassing some of my writer friends for tips on synopsis writing. I should have known that jaylake (Jay Lake) would have covered the topic thoroughly in his journal: Synopsis writing, according to Jay.

And I've been getting wonderfully generous tips and advice and examples from my other victims colleagues as well. I love my colleagues. Maybe I've got the best job in America. (Except for the lack of living wage part, of course.)

Nothing's been formally scheduled yet, but my editor (whom I'm already adoring, btw) says Norse Code will probably be released in Summer '09. At least that's the current plan. In some ways that seems so far down the road, but I'm sure once I'm in the midsts of revisions and proofing and all that, it'll feel like an avalanche of activity crammed into a short span. So I'm still going to have to jam away on the current book.

Speaking of which, turning off the Internet this morning helped me hit page 50. For various reasons, I'm tending to think about this book in 50 page sections. The first 50 got my characters on stage and in motion and all obstacled up. Onward now to complications and hijinks and more obstaclization.



Oh, also, here're pictures of my socks, which are too damned to be darned. ( my socks )
Yes, I'm posting photos of my feet poking through my socks on the Internet. You're welcome.

Favorite Dad Quote of the Weekend:

"Anyway, about my pants. There's good news and there's bad news."

Not that anyone had been talking about his pants ...

***

I just looked at the TV schedule and realized that today will be devoted to sitting on my ass and watching basketball. First up is San Antonio vs. Boston. It's a shame Garnett is hurt, but still, it's two teams that have a great shot at meeting in the Finals. After that, Lakers vs. Miami, in which we'll see a fired-up Shawn Marion, who just got traded from my Phoenix Suns for Shaquille O'Neal. Shawn's going to have something to prove, and I think he and D-Wade are going to combine nicely. Later, Denver vs. Cleveland. Not a big fan of either team, so I might skip this one, actually. And then Phoenix vs. Washington. Shaq won't be suited up yet, and we'll be without Marion, so the Suns are going to have to gut-up and hope to get some play out of Boris Diaw, who seems to have become frightened of the rim. It's a shame, because with his size and skills he has the potential to be awesome. Come on, Boris! Be awesome!

***

I've been looking forward to seeing sales notices about my book in Publishers Marketplace and Locus, largely because then I'd get to see how paid professionals describe my book. Because when people have asked me to describe my book, it's always gone something like this: "Uh, it's got gods and some stuff about DNA and the end of the world. It's my damn Norse novel."

Not a stellar elevator pitch.

But I got asked for a description for SFScope, and I had to provide something, so this is what I came up with:

A mythic fantasy in which a minor Norse god, a modern valkyrie, and a Viking thug are pitted against the Norse pantheon in an attempt to stop Ragnarok, the long-ago foreseen destruction of the entire universe. It takes place in contemporary Los Angeles and in many locales from Norse mythology.

Not terrible, maybe a bit long, and I'm still looking forward to seeing what people who describe books professionally come up with.

***

Oh, and this was how the conversation about the book with my dad began on Friday.

Dad: Whatever happened to that book you were trying to sell?
Me: I sold it.
(beat)
Dad: How much money did you get?

My short-short, "Chi," is up at Drabblecast, the weekly flash fiction podcast magazine.

Norm Sherman did a really great reading and production. Listening to it, I felt as if I were being read a story I'd never heard before. I liked it much better than my print version.

And while I'm on the hype, I'll mention that "C-Rock City," a short story I wrote with jaylake (Jay Lake) made the Locus Recommended Reading List.

Also, I have no underwear so I must do laundry.

I just got notification (plus permission to announce) that I've sold my novel Norse Code (or NorseCODE, if we use my rendering, but who knows what the final title will be) to Juliet Ulman at Bantam Dell, via Caitlin Blasdell (Liza Dawson Associates).

In other words, DUDES!!!!!!

I'm going to need a veeeerrry long acknowledgements page to thank everyone who helped me with this, but for now, I'll leave it at thanking all the people here who've cheered me on. Getting an agent and making the sale all happened this week, but it's been a long march, and so many of you guys helped lighten my load.

I'm going to have a lot of work ahead of me in the next several months, but I'm looking forward to it.

The pic below, from June '07, isn't even remotely from the first time I worked on the book, but I think it might be the first coffee/computer pic I ever posted.



Man, I've had a lot of coffee.

I am pleased as punch (punch being the most pleased substance in the universe) to announce that I am now a client of Caitlin Blasdell of Liza Dawson Associates.

Does anyone know how I might soften the glare of my camera's built-in flash? I tried taping a folded up bit of coffee filter over the flash, but it makes no discernible difference.

Anyway, here's my book, heading out into the world again after a reasonably significant revision. Do well, my book.

I'm not sure why this panel from Atrox Comics cracks me up so much. But, really, I can't think of a better thing to do with yarn.



***

Speaking of yarn, I sold podcast rights to a flash piece, "Chi," to The Drabblecast. The text version is here, but I edited it a bit before sending it to The Drabblecast, and I think the podcast version will be superior. For one thing, the who in the first sentence should be whom.

My chapbook, Show and Tell and Other Stories, has just been reviewed by Paul Di Filippo in the February '08 issue of Asimov's. An excerpt:

Van Eekhout's language is zestily inventive, his story premises splendidly wacky, and his execution flawless. Whether he features Santa Claus as an end-times superhero a la Captain Future ("In the Late December") or posthuman school kids striving for a good grade (the title story), he can be counted on to amaze, entertain, and illuminate the sapient condition.

It's 15 minutes 'til midnight where I am, but I just got an early present from Escape Pod by seeing my Christmas story, In the Late December, just now posted.

Wishing you comfort and joy, and to all a good night.

My story "Cât de departe poţi ajunge" ("Far As You Can Go") is in the January issue of the Romanian sf-magazine Sci-Fi Magazin. And what a table of contents! I'm between Kelly Link and Anne McCaffrey. Not in terms of stature or success, obviously, but possibly in terms of approach, it might be appropriate placement.

***

Frustrating kung fu class yesterday. Started off with insufficient blood sugar, and I felt my energy draining and had to take a break 15 minutes in to down a Go-Tart. Made it through another 20 minutes of stance practice, and then felt slow and dumb during punch/block drills. My training partner's punches kept going right through my blocks, which has never happened to me before. I mean, I've let myself get hit any number of times by standing there stupidly instead of blocking, and I've gotten hit by being late with my blocks, but I've never before made solid contact with a block and had the punch still drive through it. Ah, well. Better class tonight, hopefully.

***

I will pay $5 to anyone who successfully revises my last chapter. (Payment upon publication.)

Paul Jessup Kincaid on the continuing vitality of the short story:

And Gardner Dozois’s The Year’s Best Science Fiction and The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror originally edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, now by Datlow with Kelly Link and Gavin Grant, have both lasted well over 20 years, and both promise, year after year, more than 250,000 words of fiction. That’s a lot of short stories. A few years ago, when there were just (just?) four best of the year volumes to consider, I counted up the number of stories published between them, plus the stories listed in the several pages of "Honourable Mentions" that both Dozois and Datlow and Windling included. The total came to not far short of 1,000.

One thousand short stories published in just 12 months!